Sorry I've been away so long...

To the millions of readers that are waiting on pins and needles for updates to this blog,

You don't actually exist. And if you do, you're crazy.

Love, Jennifer


Anywho, seriously. I'm sorry I've been so absent. I've been stressing about my eminent free agency that started at 12:01am this morning, waiting and planning for my 7 year deal for $100 million. Oh no wait...that wasn't me? How silly I am.

But seriously. Papers don't write themselves and exams don't take themselves. Wouldn't that be nice? But that's where I've been. I'll manage my time better next time.

Wow, so much to talk about. Not sure where to begin. I guess I'll start with NFL Free Agency. Heard Tony Kornheiser complaining about Albert Haynesworth on PTI today. He has no clue what he's talking about. Yeah, his contract is huge, and I'm forced to hate him for the next seven seasons due to the fact he plays for an NFC East rival, but he was the top free agent. It didn't come out of nowhere. Whatever, I never listen to what Kornheiser says anywhere about anything. I think he's still in a funk cause he's coming to terms with the fact that he doesn't have Brett Favre's ass to kiss all the time during every broadcast from now on. Oh wait, he never knows what he's talking about. He's delirious. Never mind.

Gotta love the ESPN Free Agent tracker. J.J. Arrington to the Broncos; interesting. I'm glad the Giants resigned Carr, he's a great backup. And of course they could not lose Jacobs. Not surprised about Kerry Collins staying with the Titans. Bart Scott to the Jets? Surprise of a lifetime. Not. Fred Taylor to the Patriots; oh boy. That's going to be a force to be reckoned with. Gibril Wilson has had two consecutive amazing off-seasons. He was guaranteed $16 million from the Raiders, got cut (that's probably a blessing for him), and then got another guaranteed $8 million from the Dolphins. I would love to have his agent.

Michael Vick, when he comes back to the NFL (which I'm none too pleased about), will be a Raider. You heard it here first. I predict the future.

Now...is Manny just being Manny? Or is this a whole new monster? (I hope the Mets sign him) I'm not even sure what "Manny being Manny" is anymore. It's come to mean so much craziness, quite frankly I'm tired of it like I'm tired of A-Rod and his shrunken...head? Oh no, wait. That grows when you do steroids. You know what I meant.

Allan Iverson is no longer in the starting lineup for the Pistons. I mean, he is kind of injured, but still. Seems so strange.

And to the Manny Ramirez of basketball (minus the talent), Stephon Marbury is a Celtic. Did anyone see the video of that guy who found Stephon at a bus stop in LA and decided to film his conversation with him? They even did a little improv comedy. Pretty funny. Maybe Stephon should stick to his day job...whatever that is now.

I am also quite excited about the NFL Draft. Can't wait to see where Matt Stafford goes. I know he's going to be a great quarterback. People don't realize it now. But again, like I said, I see the future.

I think I'll stop there. I could continue writing about how my bracket this year is going to be exponentially worse than it usually is as I have not been paying near enough attention to college basketball as I should be if I want to win some money this March. Mama needs a new pair of shoes and she's got bills to pay, so I should probably start catching up on that.

My phone is ringing. I hope its the Dodgers calling to offer me that $45 million deal...because I would gladly take it.

Well, I wish Blake Griffin had played more in the Texas-OU game tonight. Because judging by the way things have been between the two schools, OU is going to swear up and down that they are actually the better of the two and deserve more even though they lost, and I'm sure they'll use Griffin as their excuse. Not looking forward to hearing about it.

OU: Texas beat you. In basketball this time. Grow a pair and deal with it.

At least college basketball uses an actual, legit ranking system (take note, BCS).

And in other news, I am ridiculously excited (and surprised at my high excitement level) for the Kanye West VH1 Storytellers that premieres next Saturday. Should be great if he doesn't claim he's Jesus or Nelson Mandela or something (wouldn't put it past him). I guess I love him like girls love bad boys who abuse them. He is cocky and puts me down and claims he's the best I'll ever have, and I hate that about him, but I just can't bear to leave. So basically, I guess it'll end up on my DVR. And thanks for bearing with that non-sequitor.